By Niki Anconetani (March, 2013)
One day I was eating and doing some work at a restaurant and I overheard some conversations going on around me. There were two women at one table talking about how frustrated they were with their family members, particularly their husbands for not helping around the house or not doing things the way they want it done. Later, at another table, a man and woman were talking about someone at his work with bad habits who wasn’t pulling his weight.
We hear these kinds of conversations all the time…sometimes we participate in them. Sometimes we’re just thinking about who’s not doing their part or hasn’t figured out how to do things the “right” way. (By the way, there’s not much difference between talking and thinking negatively about someone – they both create the same vibe).
Why do we do this? Perhaps because it frustrates us to see others not living up to their full potential; perhaps because when they’re falling short we think we can’t accomplish as much of our own agendas. It’s not in our divine nature to nitpick each other and we can’t live in harmony with the people we love and our associates if we constantly put off the vibe that we don’t value what they do and who they are. This mindset is perpetuating the problem.
Our job with others, especially our children, is to find and help them cultivate all of the goodness in them. When we do this for others we give them the possibility to see their own true potential. How would your children act if they could see themselves in this way? If you’re seeing bad behaviors in your child or others, you can help them by seeing them as they can become.
We have the responsibility to choose to look at our family, our friends, our associates and our neighbors through a lens that reveals the magnificent people they are becoming rather than through the lens of ridicule and judgement. What we choose to see is what we get. By nature we’re pre-programmed to be loving and have loving feelings of hope, goodness, joy, and peace. Anything that is not love is fear, anything that is fear is not the truth. If we are having feelings other than loving feelings then it’s our perspective that is the problem, not the other person’s behaviors.
We are all becoming. We all become in different ways and at a different rate. What would the world look like if we all carried each other? With a little bit of humility (or maybe even a lot) we can put our own agendas aside and serve others in becoming the magnificent beings they were meant to be.